An Empty, White Room

© Katherine Du Tiel 2014

Sometimes, I'm pretty grateful that I have this blog.

Like, right now. Felt a little shitty. So I thought, "What is one thing that I can do right now that will make me feel better about myself?"

This blog was the first thing that popped up in my head.

This blog... I sometimes use it to get off of Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, all the other social networking crap in existence. It's like an empty, white room. I run to it whenever I feel overwhelmed, then lock the door. The silence makes me feel better.

There were many times when I would log on to this blog on the verge of tears from either depression or anger. I'd write and write and write out my feelings until I didn't know what I was writing about. I'd finish the post, then almost always decide that I make no sense. Whatever I was feeling, it made no sense. That, is what makes me feel normal again.

The posts that did make sense, I'd publish them. Those are the posts involving how I was depressed or angry about a certain occurrence. I don't have a lot of published posts like that, because rarely does my depression and anger make any sense. They turn out to be just empty, self-inflicting feelings that are trying to tear me apart. (I'm my worst bully, honestly)

I'd recommend having a blog to anyone.

Blogger is not as quiet as Microsoft Word, but it's not as loud as social networking. It keeps me in touch with the cyberworld without keeping me in touch with the cyberworld. (And yes, that sentence made total sense to me.)