Being in Love With the Idea of Being in Love

It happens. You could be sitting in your living room with a tub of ice cream and a spoon. Your knees could be pulled to your chest, or sprawled all over the couch, and you could be daydreaming about the perfect date at a restaurant, decked out with candles and red roses and a piece of gourmet, perfectly pink salmon drizzled in melted butter sitting on a plate, or a really good-looking piece of steak sitting in its own succulent juices.......

......Oh, and yeah, the guy/girl who'd be sitting in front of you. Right.

There are exceptions---people may very well just automatically know that they're in love with a person. But for most, there lies this possibility of being in love with the idea of being in love.

And the thing is, people get that mixed up with being in love with someone.

A nice looking photo with some words in a nice font.

I think I am in love with being in love. I'm not in love with anyone... but the idea of being in a loving relationship enamors me. The idea of being thought about, the idea of seeing the side of that person's face, the idea of being sprawled on a couch at home with that person, watching some random movie on Netflix, feeling his warmth, hearing his chuckles if he found something funny. I'm in love with that kind of ideal. I'd honestly puke in my mouth for the amount of cheesiness, but I realize these are the things I think about. 

Oops. Guilty.

I have these episodes of my dreams at night once in awhile, about being in a relationship in which the love is mutual, in which I feel unconditionally happy and safe. Sounds sublime, but hear ye hear ye: The guy? He has no face in these dreams. He's seriously like a manifestation of feelings. Happiness, safety, comfort. Things that I want to feel, maybe. Woah Karen, this sounds so Sigmund Freud.

Feeling butterflies in my belly over a guy whose face I can't even see... #singlemuch LOL

Anyway, I realize that this is probably why people say that you find love when you stop looking. When you stop being in love with being in love, you stop having expectations. That whole section about having a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant, or watching Netflix and all that up there, it all goes poof. It makes sense, don't you think? Being in love isn't centered on fulfilling expectations. Being in love is simply what it is. Being in love.